What’s the proper
thing to do?

A guide for the moment no one has explained.

This book began as a guide for my own use. Over the past twenty-five years, my life and work have brought me into unfamiliar social and cultural settings, each with expectations I needed to understand.

I gathered what I learned for practical reasons: to arrive prepared, conduct myself appropriately, and enjoy the occasion. In time, I also wanted to preserve that knowledge for my children—to give them somewhere to turn when they encountered a situation no one had explained, including when I was not there to help.

One experience changed the way I understood preparation. I was asked to attend a dinner at the White House, and beforehand I was required to take a crash course in etiquette and protocol. Once I understood the conventions, I could give more of my attention to the people around me.

“These things are learned. With practice, the details become familiar enough that they no longer occupy your attention.”

The wish behind the book is the same one I have for my children: that you can enter unfamiliar situations with confidence, conduct yourself with credibility and elegance, and use what you have learned to make someone else’s first experience a little easier.

James Allister Odd